I really did not mean to take a sabbatical from my devotional. Please forgive me and love me. I need that so much, now. Over the last couple of days my daughter has been regressing so much it is scaring me. Last night, my sister went out with my father to dinner. She left me with her 15 month old to care for. My mother was here and we decided it would be best that she took care of my nephew. Agreed. The few hours my sister was gone and my husband attended a work function were the hardest in my parenting life. Willow was completely destructive. I would go to clean something up and she was already on to the next mess. In a few short hours she:
- Pooped on the floor in the playroom
- urinated on my floor in my bedroom
- dumped water in the living room
- dumped lemonade in her room.
- The “grand finale” was her dumping my red wine spritzer and throwing it against the wall and all over the floor. Judge me…but I really wanted that drink!
I know my limits…so I put her in her room so I could go somewhere and have a good cry. I went to my office and e-mailed my husband about the “reign of terror” that was going on at our house. I heard a huge thud. I ignored it. Ten minutes later I heard my mother screaming in terror. She had tripped and had been laying in my sisters room, unable to move and get up. She had crawled to the door and opened it. Only then, could we hear her and ran upstairs. The baby was terrified and I felt horrible and started crying too. It was pretty much chaos until the kids went to bed. I was snapping, grouchy, and most of all unloving to the most vunerable members of my household. Pretty much feeling like a total failure. I had nothing left. Then…I got this e-mail from the mother of my precious Godson:
“Amen, Sister. God loves you and so do I! Big hugs to you, Tiana, Willow, Landon, Alex, and Chris from all of us here. We miss you and are inspired by you. Thank you for your blog. It is beautiful and amazing as well as humbling. I love the look on Willow’s face. The wheels are turning in there. What an amazing little girl you have. What an amazing little family you have. I think you have no idea the inspiration you provide so many of us who read your blogs. Have you considered turning your blogs into a book? I can totally see you as a published author. Think about it…”
Never underestimate the power of a good friend (Sirach 6:5-17). In my darkest hour, I saw the face of Jesus in her. Telling me that God loves me and how amazing my family is. He knew exactly what I needed to hear to help my “unbelief” and inability to see him in the moment. Thank you my sweet friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you with all that I have.
Today’s prayer: Lord surround me with “true friends.” Help me to be a friend and help me to conduct myself in a manner that honors you. Let us strive to become the Proverbs 31 woman and truly become “Sisters in Christ.”